To start, prop the body of the recently deceased on a rock or slight incline, then lop off the head, hands, feet, genitals and musk glands.

Next, carefully initiate an incision at the throat. Be careful not to go too deep, or you might pierce one or more organs. Make a zipper line along the skin from the neck straight down to the anus (see—told you so), which, while you’re down there, you should also cut around. Use your knife to separate the pelt around your cut by gently slicing under the skin. You should now be able to peel the skin, like a jacket, off the body and around the stubs of the arms and legs. That’ll leave you with a big, fleshy torso.

Split the sternum and separate the rib cage to reveal the internal organs. Put your hand inside the windpipe and disconnect it from the intestinal track, freeing the rest of the organs. Be especially careful when cutting out the bladder—to utterly butcher (get it?) a famous phrase, what happens in the bladder stays in the bladder. Remember the anus? Of course, you do. Since you’ve already cut a circle around it, remove it from the inside. Now all that’s left is to lift the gutted body up and let the blood drain.

If all goes well, you’ll have a lovely, pelt to keep you warm and some of the freshest meat you’ll ever taste. And all you had to do was get your hands a bit dirty. Seems like a fair trade-off. ZK

Partnerships are a good way to get involved in horse racing without the massive cost, time and effort necessary to maintain your own thoroughbred. And even if money is no object, a partnership can be a practical way to learn about the industry.

When you join the partnership, you’re actually buying a share in the horse —much like fractional jet ownership or vacation spot timesharing. Depending on the partnership you choose, you might be involved with a horse campaigned by the farm that bred it, or one purchased by the partnership company at auction. David Godin, founder of United Thoroughbreds (www.UnitedThoroughbreds.com), prefers to buy horses at auction because it determines the animal’s value and the price of the shares (a maximum of 20 shares are available per horse). His company’s first two horses were valued at $20,000 each.

“Our minimum ownership share is 5%, but you can bite off as large a chunk as you’d like,” he says. The horse’s purchase and its training, boarding and vet bills are shared by the partners. “For a five per cent share, I tell people to look to spend between $200 and $300 a month. It costs between $35,000 and $45,000 to keep a thoroughbred in training.”

Partners are encouraged to visit the track to watch the horse train, and you can visit your steed at the farm during the offseason. Of course, if your horse wins a race, you’ll get your picture taken with it in the winner’s circle. Better yet, you get your share of the prize money and stud fees.

Some 35,000 thoroughbreds are born each year. Only about 70 per cent ever make it to the racetrack, and fewer still finish “in the money.” There’s no compensation on the share if your horse is injured or never wins. “It’s not something you should expect to make a whole lot of money from,” Godin says. “But if you enjoy racing, if you want to go to the farm, learn about the sport and enjoy the sport…once you’ve experienced that stretch drive, there’s not a whole lot that will replace that feeling.”

And, hey, you never know. Just ask the 20 partners who crammed into the winner’s circle at Churchill Downs in May, when their 25-to-1 long shot Animal Kingdom swept the field and took home the Kentucky Derby trophy and a purse of over $1.4 million. In horse racing, pretty much anything can happen. JM

Know thy enemy:
Figure out who you’re dealing with—are they shy and quiet? Arrogant? Hot-headed? Cold? Learn as much as you can before engaging.

Goodwill goes a long way:
Instead of focusing on making someone understand your side of the story, seek to understand theirs. They might recognize your benevolence and extend the same graciousness to you.

Listen with your ears:
Is the other party rambling ignorantly? Do they really know what they’re talking about? Don’t waste your time and energy arguing with someone who only thinks they know what’s going on.

Listen with your eyes:
What does a person’s body language reveal about their thoughts? Are their arms folded across their chest? Are they leaning toward you, or away? Are they avoiding eye contact? If they are saying one thing but their body is saying another, be wary.

Be genuine:
Don’t walk on eggshells—do everyone a favour and be honest (while still being civil, of course). Apologies are cheap these days, so don’t offer an “I’m sorry” unless you actually mean it. And if you’re not sorry, figure out why.

Open up your iron fist:
Are you trying too hard to control the situation? Did it go much smoother when you planned it in your head? Relax, take a breath and learn to let things go. Forcing someone to feel or act a certain way never works.

Seek confirmation:
Did they really just drop that verbal bomb? Maybe they don’t even realize how ridiculous they sound. Repeat it back and ask what they meant by it. Make sure you understand a person’s intentions before you ride off to war.

Keep your enemies close:
Close enough to do something genuinely nice for them, that is. You’ll throw them so far off balance they won’t know what to think. Then, you strike—with more kindness, of course.

Take a look at yourself:
Is it possible you’re the bad guy? Or at least a misunderstood anti-hero? Maybe you need to take steps to soften your rough edges and reach out to people. If in doubt, ask someone you trust.

Learn to trust other people—at arm’s length:
Ask yourself: does this person ultimately want to resolve the situation or do they just thrive on conflict? If it’s the latter, make sure you have an exit strategy. JD

When: Showtimes start at kid-friendly hours from 10:45 a.m. to 9:45 p.m.

The gist: Rather than staying in for a movie night, bring your kids to Toronto’s TIFF Bell Lightbox for a long weekend of free screenings. From Saturday to Monday, your budding cinephiles can enjoy a slew of family-friendly movies (like The Fantastic Mr. Fox) that even you’d get a kick out of.