How to: Drive Like a Gentleman

Let’s be clear: We’re not advocating road rage, we don’t want to see you swerving into the shoulder to pass little old ladies, and we’re certainly not condoning verbal or physical abuse of other drivers. But sometimes—just sometimes—the roads would be a lot safer if the timid, incompetent and/or oblivious drivers would just stay home. Boy it feels good to say that. Now that that’s off our chest, here is a brief look at freeway felons.

Slow ride
“Speed kills,” they tell us. That’s probably true, especially when a fast-moving object runs into one that’s moving slowly. If you interpret the laws of the road exactly as they are posted, you must stay in the right lane as much as possible. Avoid the far left lane at all costs. The world is too big and dangerous for you there.

Lack of control
Why are you driving down a straight road with your signal flashing for minutes on end? Are you going to merge now? No, that was just you drifting into the wrong lane as you struggle to keep the steering wheel level. If you can’t figure out how to work the controls of an automobile, you should consider walking.

Take a brake
Pushing the brake pedal causes the red lights on the back of the vehicle to glow, warning others that you are slowing down and that they should follow suit. This is a good thing—unless you’re riding the brakes and don’t actually plan on slowing down. Instead of creating a chain reaction of needless brakers, try leaving some space in front of you. And learn the forgotten art of coasting.

All the time in the world
A lot of people seem to think that they need to come to a near-complete stop in order to make a right-hand turn. Wrong. Engineers have spent hundreds of hours testing your car to make sure it won’t flip when turning a corner at 20 km/h. Get off the road quickly and stop holding the rest of us up.

Lane hogs
It’s funny—and sad—how quickly drivers already on the highway forget to make room for new mergers. Then there are people who speed up when others try to merge into their lane. You don’t own the road. JD